a year gone by

Eliza is already a year old. This is ridiculous. She's walking, signing, exploring, laughing, being stubborn and thriving in every way. She is truly fun and the snuggliest of all three. For no reason she'll lay her head down on your shoulder, or offer hugs just because you're close it's completely irresistible. Not to mention she's blonde and fair with blue eyes. Amazing how different 3 sisters can be. I suppose I should already know that, but I'm learning first hand how to love 3 people in 3 different ways.

a little montage of her through the year.

Today we'll go pick cherries in the mountains, and then on Friday we'll have a little picnic with some friends and family. We'll likely find her one more special nice toy gift, but I made her a gift I'm hoping she'll enjoy. Though it's not what I'd imagined going in, this waldorf style doll really developed in its own way. Using materials I already had on hand was one of the limits I set for myself, and the hair is sort of hilarious to me. Hopefully she'll enjoy. I've got to say, I can see why doll-makers do what they do, though time consuming, it's really neat to watch a personality appear before your eyes.

Eliza may change it eventually, but for now I'm calling it Elinore, 'cause Eliza & Elinore make a pretty sweet pair.

For those of you who want to try doll-making, I will say I thought Martha Stewart's tutorial was really simple and easy to follow. There are things I would do differently next time, but ultimately it's a great bare-bones visual set of instructions.

Hello Twenty Twelve! And, A Vintage High Chair

So, there's always potential that the fresh, clean, new year is full of promise. It is, as was last year. I don't want to forget or think that it's time to start over--last year was great. We had a baby, who is amazing. We, well...we had a baby. Really, anything else pales. We had fun, lots of it. Friends getting married, celebrations, holidays, business growing, vintage boothing, markets, shabbats, countless hours spent lolly-gagging and dreaming together. All in all 2011 is and was exactly what I hope every year is: joyful.

That said, there's always room for improvement. I don't have a long list of things to change, but things are always moving and shaking around here. Like rearranging furniture, there are certain habits that can use a good dusting, places that could stand a meeting with a vacuum. Our rhythm needs some fine tuning...again.

We are taking deep breaths and thinking about all this. What parts of our daily lives are important to us? What aren't? What are beneficial to our children and ourselves? What dust bunnies need to come out of hiding and where should we re-settle the furniture in the coming months? It's all in my mind.

One thing that I've determined important to me is this space. This little nook of the web where I deposit thoughts, photos, inspiration, dreams and sometimes even pain. This hidden alcove of intimate Grim moments is a sort of refuge where I know I can share something and come back to it, often I even get feedback. Though it doesn't encompass the entirety of us, it is a log of where we've been and looking over the last 3 years of postings is unspeakably meaningful for me. I thank God for the friends who encouraged me to join this 'blogging' world (and out of it), when I scroll through old posts there are bits and bobs that would be forgotten if not documented. A million pictures can't always express the thoughts that go with them...So, my hope is to be more diligent and focused with this space. Maybe a little more frequent, a little more personal, a little more of the kids...that's a goal.

I'm not entirely sure how well I mesh my vintage life with this blog, but I sell vintage stuff. It's a habit that can really help give us some extra money and it's been growing, particularly these last few months. Well, if you come to my house you'll see quickly that vintage is more than something I sell, it's something I've surrounded our family in (sometimes we're bursting at the seams with inventory!). Decor, furniture, clothing...there are a lot of ladies like me out there, filling their homes with goods that aren't new, but come pre-loved, broken in and somewhat free of the guilt of consumerism.

For example, we needed a new high chair. We bought one for Naomi at Ikea SEVEN! years ago. well, the tray broke, the plastic is grubby, the buckle frayed and fell off--hardly a stand-the-test-of-time article. So, instead of rebuying one from Ikea, I did a little hunting. It was inconvenient and required the compliance of my parents who picked it up for me, and the lady in Raleigh who was willing to take it out of her way...but, we have a superbly adorable high chair that has years on our cheap Ikea one, and will be adorable long beyond Eliza is through. It's fantastic, (and it was cheap), and I just have to share a picture...

This is most definitely something a little ordinary about our lives, the addition of something vintage that makes me smile. But, it's a little miraculous. I've also set my mind on--coming out of the season of miracles--not to overlook the little things that bring joy into our lives because I'm sure that they are gifts from the One who loves us. Not every miracle needs to be headline-news-worthy. But, the more I open my mind to noticing them, the more I allow myself to realize the many many miracles that fill up our days, the more delightful life is.

Cooling Off Where You Are?

It's cold (squeal of delight) and Eliza is now wearing the hat I knit while she was in-utero. It's cuter on & all the flaws are much less noticeable when her sweet laughing eyes are peaking out from underneath. Here's more on the pattern. Is there anyone who doesn't think aviator hats are adorable?!

What cool-weather knits are you pulling out of hiding?

Who's Baby is This?!

We've been doing a lot of staring. There have been a few milk man jokes...but, really, I think we're all excited and awestruck by the creativity of Creation. I mean, the same gene pool has turned out a very different baby. Our first 2 girls looked so much like their dad that I had given up the notion that strangers could pair my kids with me. They're dark, I'm fair. They're brown eyed, I'm blue.

drew

me

This new one, well, she's still a bit old-manish looking, as all newborns are. She's growing into something though. Blue eyes, and maybe light hair coming in?!

Having children and watching them feels a little like looking at trees on a nature walk. First you have a Maple, the mighty maple tree with leaves anyone would recognize, it's characteristics are magnificent and dependable and we know them. Then, you have a spruce. Sure, the maple and the spruce both grow tall, they have bark branches and roots--but the differences are numerous and the 2 are VERY different trees. Continue down the trail just a bit and you'll meet a red bud or a dogwood or maybe even an apple...

When you're pregnant you don't know what to expect, and a little bit of me always expects more of the same, another Naomi, another Leviah. I have no real idea what Eliza's personality will be. Looking back at the infancy of the other two their personalities were so obviously present, but it will take months and years for me to really know her and it's SO tremendously exciting. The girls I have are such individuals, it seems like the ultimate privilege to be a part of their growth and having experienced that unveiling twice I think I'm appreciating it more this time around. I can't wait to see who Eliza is going to be, what her interests and talents will be. Her unique look in one small way shows me how I have no idea what to expect...

naomi 

leviah

eliza (photo courtesy of Gina Schultz Photography)

Here are family baby pics to compare. Looking through all the baby pics reminds me that it's about time to share the birth story. It'll come...

Slow Moe & ROTH for Summer

baby admiring.

Things are slow around here. There's a baby, it's hot, all the classes and lessons and scheduled weekly events are on hiatus. We've been blessed with meals from friends, bounty in the garden, and general good health. Recovery from labor has been relatively quick, and I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the breastfeeding-sore nipple-wet all the time-trial period that has been going on for a week now. A process that is so natural and beneficial for mom & baby sometimes seems more than a little difficult. It's all worth it--of course, but I welcome the relief I can feel coming...

Here are a few pics from our week.

there's been some shelling of peas. 

I'm proud to hold the title for fastest sheller, however I didn't shell the most! The girls LOVE doing this.

some dada/big sister time with the bikes & a memorial day picnic with my family.

rediscovering and remastering old toys.

did I mention baby admiring?

Check out the new edition of Rhythm of the Home for some sweet summer activities and articles. I'm excited to have an article about our progress and suggestions on organization--I'm still really proud of how far we've come and how it's helping, even in this time of transition.

Numero 3

Littlest baby Grim was born on Monday morning. She's a girl--despite all the predictions based on the way I carried So, we're more like the Ingalls than ever! And 'Pa' seems just fine with that ;)

Birth Time: Monday, May 23 at 9:42am

Name: Eliza Liri  Eliza means "Pledged to God" & Liri "Music"

Weight: 8 lbs 7oz

Height: 21 inches

While her birth was far from the simple, quick and nearly easy birth of Leviah, it is done and we were at home and safe and all is well. I am so thankful for my midwife, she's a blessing in our lives for more reasons than her expansive knowledge of birthing babies. Things could have been much worse had we not had her help!

We may be a little slow on posting for the next few weeks. My eyes are a bit droopy and it's hard to focus on a computer screen...but, we're up and at 'em. Funny how much faster you have to recover and can, when there are other little ones anxious to play...

Not so-well Knit & And Ode To Treasuring.

I knit this aviator cap a few weeks ago for the new one and while I enjoyed (throat clearing) it, I think it was for all the wrong reasons. The pattern, for me, seemed off. Again, I am a novice knitter and everything I do know I learned here or via the internet at large. So, the hat seems wonky--which I knew about 16 rows in, but it's not in my nature to 'frog'--as they say. I'm too hopeful that what seems lost may be found.

Anyway, still need to add a tie via an idiot chord--should be able to swing that ;) and maybe next time I'll follow this pattern and have more success...(seriously, what's with the point?!)

And I just wanted to share a treasury that I put together in memory of my Grandfather. It's the second one in a series (the other is Ode to Ethel, his sister, my great aunt). The whole process is pretty sweet, seems simple enough to create a treasury, but it takes me time and brain power to think on things I don't like I should. For me each person was whole and complete and I can nearly smell them when I think about them, but for anyone else these little odes are a glimpse into their story...

Notes from Before.

Before I'm done, that is.
I'm 31 weeks pregnant which leaves me with a few thoughts, things I knew about pregnancy from before, things I know about having children, and the other side--the things I don't know.

the way I see 'it'.

What I don't know:

If I'm truly prepared

What life with 3 kids will look like.

If my 'other' dreams are just that.

If the 2 girls I already have will be angry.

If it's a boy or a girl. (though, when I manage to leave the house there are usually MANY who claim 'oh, it's a boy' just by looking at me--where will they be when a girl shows up and I've consigned all the girl clothes?)

What the baby's name will be.

If I'm ready.

If I've gotten rid of too many things.

If this baby will be as difficult as Leviah or as easy as Naomi.

If homeschooling will be put on a back burner for months while we adjust.

If my seemingly short temper will grow back.

What I do know:
Who the father is ;)
We'll love this baby
I'm no good at being pregnant
I am not one of those who gains only 15pds and loses it within 3 days of birthing or look like Angelina Jolie in this movie.
The baby will nurse--it will hurt for a bit.
Some women can't have babies easily--I am fortunate.
Some women don't get sick--they are fortunate.
If it's up to me, I doubt I will do this again.
What I want for this baby is much different than what I thought I wanted for my first.
It will be born at home.
We will be ok.
Our family will be fuller and I'll feel again the way I did when we had our first family movie night after Leviah was born--that more is better, and going back would feel empty.

^"13 For You formed my inward parts;
         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 ¹⁴ ... Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well."

Psalms 139

I take comfort in verses like these while we wait.  

HOMEBIRTH: My sister had her baby

The plan wasn't for me to be at the birth. Either way, I was just excited to have a nephew and that my sister was going to be able to have a birth experience that didn't leave her feeling inept, hurt, and angry at the things she was denied control of.

But, I was there for the very end--the part where all the pain, the hours of counting contractions, measuring dilation, walking, moaning, bathing, squatting and praying all pay off, I was a witness. About 10 minutes after I got there Gabriel was born, and I've never seen that before. Sure...I've done it, but how can one fully understand it without seeing it? One minute there's a baby inside my sister, the next, well--there's not! And I wasn't distracted by the deliriousness that a mother feels when the process is near complete, I was attentive and aware.

My 'method' of birthing with Leviah (#2) called on a lot of hypno-birthing ideas. I prayed, I whispered, I envisioned artwork and the hand of my Creator. All this made it possible for me to focus. I don't know what techniques my sister relied on, I haven't yet asked, but birth is generally not painless or carefree but such is the nature of life. For the same reason I believe it's important to witness, if not participate in, the butchering of an animal to grasp the coming and going of breath; birth was much the same.

Interwoven in the excitement of the baby coming out, between the screams, enveloped in the moments of brief silence there's an anticipation. We have faith all will be well, but it isn't all for us to decide what MUST be. The breath of life comes as a gift, it comes without our complete understanding; and the miracle--oh my.

I walk day-to-day believing that I cannot rely on my own providence, nor on any man's. I believe this, but watching a baby being born, well, believing and knowing might not be just the same.

It is an amazing blessing to have family, to have children and to have life. It is a gift that can be painful and inconceivably difficult, but in the moments it takes a lamb to breath it's last breath after slaughter, and in those moments it takes for a child to rely on its own lungs there is an undeniable connection that I hope everyone has a chance to know...

Babies are a Treasure...

To celebrate hitting the half way mark (that means I'm 20 weeks) I created a treasury including some of the many delightful things Etsy handcrafters are offering for sweet little ones. Please click here to view them all.

Here are a few teasers:

from lovefibres shop

from Canadianwoodcrafts shop

from DyPeas Shop

There are so many more and from some of my favorite bloggers too, go see!

Expectations

taken with**

Having waited long enough for some clever address to come to mind, it's time to share with those who visit this space the news we have recently confirmed, without afore mentioned address. We're having a baby, again. It's number 3 and this mighty announcement is the explanation for my absence and brevity. We are excited and nervous about bringing a third to the mix as our place is small (and off the market for now), but the thrill of meeting and getting to know yet another individual outweighs even the worst fears. On top of which, there is faith that all will be as it is meant to, a thought we're deliberately trying to maintain.

For some of the ladies I know pregnancy and child-carrying is a beautiful experience that makes them radiant and empowered. I am not that kind of lady. I am a miserable pregnant person. For me, the curse promised Eve on account of her sin, the pain of childbirth, bares more true before the delivery. Not that labor isn't painful, but that kind of pain is more my style; I've always been more of a sprinter than a marathoner...But, amid a myriad of your standard first trimester ailments I'm dealing with a lesser known & more repulsive. Thank God for the internet at large in which I can locate other wierdos like myself--this offers some comfort, the thought of others suffering, too. I won't go into details, but it is not attractive.

Having spent a lot of time on the couch in the past 6 weeks I can officially tell you the guilt of failing at my previously acquired jobs of wife and mother is growing. There are moments in which I muster the gumption to allow distraction, but overall the comfort of simply laying down generally surpasses any other. I've had a bout with dehydration, spent a week with my mother so as to alleviate Drew's responsibilities, and hovered over the sink as a matter of ritual. The thrill of procreation is difficult to remember and the most recent comfort was having heard the baby's heartbeat over the weekend. As it feels as though death has warmed over, sometimes the thought that the causes of my misery were more grim than fantastic. But, I have a tendency toward the dramatic. 

There is a lot of support out there for women in my state--particularly from other moms who know the feeling. Again, I thank God for blessing me with the ability to carry children and for the encouragement of the women who surround me. Not to mention a husband who is willing to pick up the slack and figure out dinner for nearly 2 months straight. 

In closing this window to my pain I want to point out some things I've failed to mention.

1. Leviah is now 2, as of October 29th. She's amazing, crazy, silly, passionate and stubborn. She talks, whether we understand her or not, and she has had far more sugar than her older sister ever had at this age.

2. We are planning our second homebirth with our friend and midwife. 

3. We have taken our home off the market, which seems like a joke. But, if you know someone who really wants it we'd be willing to talk ;)

4. We have turned over the Que Sera, Que Sera leaf. We have decided to keep dreaming, but to stop pushing so hard. We will go in the direction of our dreams, but we will relax and take heed. 

that's all I can think of. and go watch The Young Victoria. and go enter this contest (please).

*the awesome new iPod touch my sweet husband brought home just for me. that's the kind of guy he is...

Lambing Unexpected.

What a day to forget the camera at home. I recycle pics from our last trip.


Today we had to run 'country' errands. What does that mean? Well, first, visiting the home of a co-worker that is willing to baby-sit the bee hives while our house is on the market. More on that later. Then, 'grocery' shopping.

So, you take an address or 2, pop them into a GPS device, turn the settings of said device to 'avoid highway' & you're off. Turn where you wish, willy-nilly style, & you'll get where you're going.

That's just how it happened. Our second stop today is the most important detail of how we ended up seeing what we couldn't document via megapixel: Rising Meadow Farm. I discussed this place some here, but in an effort to buy local & celebrate the upcoming holiday (Passover) with real pizazz we went for the leg of lamb available only direct from the farm. Boy are you gonna be jealous. They told us to be there at 5:30, at which time they'd be wrapping up some bottle feeding of newly born lambs.

We get there, a-lah country style: 5:50pm. Drew headed out first to locate someone, but nothing. So, on down to the source of reckless bleating--a field of mamas & babes just baaaing away. Then, round into the barn where we were invited in to view the NEWEST lambs you could ever see, not even a day old. But wait!

The dear farmers couldn't tend to our meat buying needs immediately because--get this--there were lambs on the way; we could watch if we wanted.

Watch if we wanted?! We would have come, paid & had trouble not gathering a crowd if we'd known this was coming!

So sweet, amazing, adorable, magnificent, wonderful...they've been lambing for days & look a bit tired, but wow. The mama got one out then they took a break before (they suspect 2 more) the others are ready to come as well.

this image from here

Now we buy meat.

Is there something that pulls on your heartstrings as you purchase a leg that once belonged to such an innocent & miraculous creature? Absolutely. A connection, a REAL solid connection that is far beyond the convenience of Wendy's drive thru or the supermarket price-cut section. I won't point fingers or name names or even ask for remorse & second thoughts, but this comprehension of life, sacrifice & the work that bring sustenance to us all is a tragedy if lost & perhaps the demise of our civilization. Perhaps.

Right now, it's not lost on us. We drove home with a sense of wonder & excitement; and with 5 pounds of what will be thoroughly appreciated & celebrated meat.

Enter Lebo & her dimply bum

Naomi has been blessed with a new arrival, Lebo, from her Savta (paternal grandma). Savta is a top-notch sewer & MADE this beautiful Waldorf style Doll that Naomi loves. She goes everywhere with her, from restaurants & dance class, to memorial services & the grocery store, & of course--to sleep. Having had loads of practice making dolls, Savta is an artist & not only sculpted adorably simple facial features, but a dimply bum & newborn belly button. Don't forget the "cloth" diapers (extras on the way). Lebo has been the perfect remedy for one big sister who wants desparately to put her newly learned nurturing skills to work.

Her name-- Lebo
(derivative of "LeeLee"--nickname for little sister)
Her bottom--masterfully dimpled
Her cheeks--"naturally" pink
Her skin--0rganic cotton
Her size--perfectly preemie
Her Hair--comb-able mohair

**'Savta' will take orders soon as she LOVES making these loved babes, and we're working on a "party" in which mums can come & create the perfect doll for their own child. If you're interested, let me know!